D-O-N-E! Done.

The packing is done! (yes angels really are singing in the background). I am so relieved that it is finished. But all that exertion of packing up our life here, dragging boxes to the truck and then cramming them into storage really took it out of T and I. We have pretty much been zombies all week, which has been great for me as I have been able to tune out the Christmas jerks that have taken over the mall while I scramble to finish my shopping.
Now all I have to do is finish off work (my contract ends tomorrow) and I can sleep, eat, wrap gifts and watch Christmas movies till my eyes turn into squares. It really doesn't take that much to make me a happy gal...

the straw that made the camel get drunk

I think my stress level has reached the point where I could possible burst into tears at any point. Charming I know and yes, poor poor T. But I am valiantly trying to focus on this Sunday when; our apartment will be packed up, we will be living in luxury with my parents (comparatively speaking), my friends will be home for Christmas, I will be almost done gift shopping and I can drink myself into a languid stupor on rum n' eggnog while eating an entire tupperware full of shortbread. Life will be sweet again!

no sh*t

The first thing that was said to me today was,

"WHOAAAAAAAAAA you look reeeeeally tired!"

Gee thanks...what happened to 'if you don't have anything nice to say don't say it at all'.

tagged

I was tagged by KreativeMix, this is the first time I have been tagged so here goes...

Here are the The Rules: Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to then report this on their own blog with their 7 things as well as these rules. They then need to tag others and list their names on their blog. They are also asked to leave a comment for each of the tagged, to let them know that they have been tagged and to read the blog.

There is a lot random stuff about me:

1. At the tender age of three I got a chair stuck on my head. Yes I know wha???? I did. Don't ask... it is a family legend that I will never live down.

2. I have freckles on my face, just my face. They turned up after grade 4 and they are still here. People tell me they will fade but I am beginning to think that I will be forever young even at 80 with a full-on freckle-face though I am guessing by then my wrinkles might hide them all. (ahem Lu wear your sunscreen!)

3. I am quite reserved with people I don't know at first and am often mistaken for being really private. I am..until you get to know me then I will sing, dance and perform for you.

4. My sister and I have a slew of made-up terms that we have managed to get my family using. Nope not twins just sisters who spent too much time eating candy and cackling over bad tv shows and dance movies.

5. I love patterns.

6. I hate cooked carrots.

7. I have an unfortunate addiction to shortbread...

So I tag things i know, dan and taking the time to unwind

a week to go

As of this Saturday we have one week..ONE WEEK to pack up the rest of the 3.5 years T and I have spent here. Part of me thinks good riddance but I have to admit that it has been good for both us though it is time for us to start a new adventure.
But seriously, ONE WEEK. Uhhh it is make me queasy just thinking about it. We did manage to get about 8 boxes to my folks place but there are still random piles of our stuff that somehow need to work their way into a box.
We have also accumulated an odd assortment of items which need to find a way out of our home and not into our storage, included are:

• a heated fish tank that T thought would be a good idea which actually turned into a massacre of 15 neon tetras
• a planter full of old corks (not mine) and
• a collection of empty Scotch bottle containers (again NOT mine)

But the closet exploding all over the place...that IS mine and that stuff isn't going anywhere.

oh ladieeeeeees

I was doing a bit of surfing as I was trying to find out the name of the women's shelter in Herat as I was hoping to make a donation. I came across this cool site. It has interesting articles and information for and about women. They had some facts I did not know about...for instance,

"Researchers have found that only 2.7 percent of sampled news stories focused on women on weekdays and 3 percent focused on women on Sunday."

We make up a lot more of the population than that. Go check it out and be informed.

happy b-day lil' bro

Today is my little brother's birthday and when I say little I actually mean 6'3. It is pretty crazy that he is 17 as I can remember the morning he was born and my dad was running around the house yelling at my sis and I to "STAY IN BED...YOUR MOM IS HAVING THE BABY....DON'T WORRY" he did pretty much scare us right back into bed. Then, later that day, we got a phone call at school that we had a new baby brother.
Little did the "little brother" know that:
a) he would wear pick diapers for the first 60 days of his life because everyone was SO sure he would be a girl that diapers were pre-bought
b) he would be subjected to being my sister's real life toy that she could dress up and put in her toy cradle beside her creepy Baby Shivers.
c) he would have two older sisters that love him soooooo much but also have no qualms about totally embarrassing him when necessary (though he has started to retaliate which is a bit distressing)
So to my much younger bro happy birthday and thanks for all the disgusting jokes, crazy dances, random attempted punches and for growing up to be pretty cool.

getting me down

It is early and I feel half asleep which is pretty much how I have been feeling for the past month. It is cold here, about -20C, beats me what that is in Fahrenheit but let me just say it is COLD. Like freeze your cheeks off (either set) cold or wear as many layers starting with thermals cold. Anyway the colder it gets the more I think I am not a cold-weather person. I like the snow but not the wind-chill.
I went to my first Christmas party of the season. It was an open house at an agency where I used to work. Everyone there is amazing, they truly were to best group of people to work with. It was nice to catch up with everyone but after the end of the night I ended up feeling a bit melancholy about my career or, to be honest, my lack of one. I am not too sure why it hit me more last night and today but I suppose it is that I see friends or co-workers my age moving ahead, getting promoted and earning great wages and seeming pretty darn happy. I usually get the inevitable question "So...where are you now?" to which I have to try and explain all the jobs I've held in the last 2.5 years. Which usually gets a "Wow...that is a lot of jobs..". I just end up feeling inarticulate, stupid and a little bit embarrassed by the fact that I am 26, edging on 27, and I have no clear career direction yet. It is just kind of getting me down today.

a bit nerdy

So I read the Golden Compass about 1 month ago, actually I devoured it. It was a great fantastical story intermixed with the author's philosophical thoughts on Christianity. I have been getting people I know to read it and already have a date to see the movie. You can go to the website and find out what your daemon is...a daemon is a person's soul manifested into an animal which can be seen by others. I know crazy eh? Anyway because I am a bit nerdy I went to find out what my daemon is...meet Lutheus.




















Neat hey, T did it too but he was slightly pissed that his was a gibbon.

roll me a head!

Remember how I mentioned we had the coolest neighbours...well they moved out in October and new people moved in.
I have had it.
This new couple has huge screaming matches where things get broken or someone gets kicked out and we have to listen to it. But the icing on the damn cake is that at 3am this morning their huge bull mastiff cried and whined all morning. Beats me where the neighbours were as there is no way they could have been sleeping with that yowling going on. T and I tried everything from banging on the floor to praying it would stop. T even went downstairs wearing his uggs, my sassy fleece robe from grade 8 and his newsboy cap (obviously it was very early in the am) and banged loudly on the door to no avail though the dog did come by and sniff at the door.
So now I am at work holding my eyes open with toothpicks while I chug coffee.
All I have to say is if that happens again tonight..heads are gonna roll!

WTF?

As I was reading the online version of our paper today I came across a very disturbing article about a video game designed for girls to "lie, bitch and flirt your way to the top of the high school ladder." I cannot even explain how much this makes my blood boil...like Paris Hilton and Britney Spears aren't doing enough to destroy the minds of young girls, now they can play a game designed to make them act like total idiots. According to the game's creative director (who surprisingly is a woman) the game is being misrepresented and that its intention is to be tongue-in-cheek about trying to be cool in high school. Right because at the age of 10 or 11 young girls will get the "irony " involved. PuLEASE.... What happened to encouraging young women to focus on their individuality and intelligence? And why is a woman promoting this? I cannot believe that is this day in age when women are positively influencing the way the world runs that some idiot comes up with a game to hold us back again.

catch up

so i have been slacking on posting so here is what is going on

• the trip to San Francisco was awesome. it is beautiful and clean with really friendly people. I will post some pics soon
• we did a major pack of the apartment last weekend and attacked the office which was the room i was most scared of. we used to put everything we didn't know what to do with in there and then close the door....but it is clean now
• i posted some furniture for sale on monday and it sold monday night and now we have no dressers, desk or book shelf. our bedroom just has a bed in it and piles of clothes on the ground!
• our landlord brought someone to have a look at our apartment last night, it was sort of embarassing because like i said above our stuff is all over the ground. but she liked the place which means we can move out Dec.15 and get half a month of rent back!
• oh yeah and she wants to buy our TV and DVD player which means we dont have to move it
• it snowed here and though i don't feel like being cold i do hope it is a white christmas

patience is not my virtue

U2's Beautiful Day is playing on the radio at work and it is making think of the adventures to come. Of the sun on my face as T and I drive into the unknown. The taste of freedom is making it hard for me to focus on this Friday morning.

posture and other things

So I am taking a photography course and the teacher cracks me up. There is a little language barrier with the teacher which ends up translating into random comments on a person's physique which sends me into giggles at the back of the classroom. Believe me, he has said unflattering things about me and I still think it is funny...
We had to all take turns modeling while people took turns taking photos and posing us, so that we could see how posing has a lot to do with how well a photo turns out. First up, young working gal, she reluctantly dragged herself to the front...the first thing the teacher says is she will look 20 pounds lighter if she does not face the camera straight on. I couldn't believe he said it, but young working gal took it well and remarked that she will walk sideways from now on. Our prof doesn't mean it, I think he just says exactly what he is thinking without thinking about how it might sound.
Then I get volunteered so I go up and they take some photos and he says, " see because her face is so skinny you can create cheekbones". I started to laugh because he just says the things we would never say. Then the finale was a larger guy was asked to model and the Prof suggested that if he sat up straighter he would be less chunky! Again this guy was pretty good about it and laughed it off. And I was busy at the back of the classroom trying to stifle snorts while I laughed in my head.
Lesson...sit up straight in photos and don't face the camera, angle yourself away a bit and think before you speak.

Weekend Update

The weekend starts for me tomorrow night when i fly to San Francisco with my mom. Yesterday I was not very excited but my feelings have changed as I browsed the SF tourism site. Museums, great food (wooo Sushi!) and lot of boutiques compounded by the kick-ass-ness of the Canadian dollar has helped. The only thing I am mildly stressed about is what to pack...or more honestly how many shoes is too many for a 4 day trip. The weather network shows cool temperatures and rain which is detrimental to my packing abilities. I think it is easier to pack for long trips than weekend trips...I only took 2 bags for a year in Japan but I feel like the suitcase I am taking to SF is way too big. Hmmm but I do plan to do a bit of shopping so it will probably be bursting on the way home to T's dismay. What? I can't help it, I love clothes the way gold member loves skin. (if you read this sis, you'll recall my perfect imitation of "i loooooovve clothes") a disgusting comparison perhaps but i think that same madness that we all saw in this character resembles my love of shoes, bag, clothes, scarves...righty then, this post has gone a bit askew but suffice to say i will be loving SF and all that is in it all the while experimenting with my new digital SLR!

a faun, a fairy and TeenWolf

OK perhaps this was not on actual Halloween but we were in the spirirt!

ready...set....PACK!

Since I am usually rambly I am guessing this blog is going to be a combo of that side of me as well as a place for me to write about my travels which are going to start again soon! We are leaving in about 2.5 months for Central and South America...but before then we have a pile of stuff to do...

1 - Pack up the apartment
This has started! Well actually I have only chucked our CDs into a box so there is lots to do

2 - Take pictures of furniture, post online and (please please) sell furniture
We are getting rid of some dressers, a desk and a bookshelf....this does mean that for about 4 weeks our clothes will live on the floor, chairs, the back of doors...

3 - Sell my beloved Ford Aspire a.k.a "Bobby Assfire"
I did not think I would care but I am more than a little sad to think I won't be speeding around in this car again.

4 - Try and get my Spanish ability moving forward
With all this other stuff going on I have been slacking on studying

5 - Get T and I vaccinated.
I hate needles. T hates them more than I do...good times.

6 - Eat everything in the pantry
Ok maybe not the seriously old looking vermicelli noodles that I cannot recall buying...but I hate throwing out food so we are going to attack that pantry with voracious appetites for all things canned, pickled and possibly unrecognizable.

Though I am getting a bit panicky that 6 weeks is not enough time for us to get ready and out of our apartment it is a good excitement.

delish!

As far as snacks go I tend to crave sweets in any fashion...cookies, candy (sours), etc. I actually don't crave chocolate, Japan is to blame (or maybe to thank) for that. The Japanese don't know about chocolate. I tried their 'version' of chocolate a few times and honestly it killed any desire for chocolate I might have had. Anyway...I digress, my new favourite snack is rice crackers (a thing the Japanese know tonnes about) and jalapeno hummus. Best snack ever, I swear, try it..you'll see.

i got phished!

$%^@

I would use real and colourful language but I do believe there are more descriptive words to describe this situation....ok not really... I just want to swear to the the high heavens about this. So here is the deal...my bank has been calling me non-stop and since I can see it is a 1-866 number I have been 'avoiding' the calls. Yes they could be calling for something important and this has crossed my mind which would explain my lack of brain cells about two hours ago. In my junk mail was a message from my bank asking me to log in and update my security information....

In my brain at that moment...

"Ooooooh so THAT is why they are calling. Ugh what a pain, is this why they have been calling me three times a day for two weeks. Oops guess I should do this then maybe those blood sucking telephone operators can give it a rest for a bit...what a crappy job, really I should think of what they do whenever I am feeling bad about my lack of career and direction. Suckas!"

Two minutes later filling out my bank info on a form that I clicked to from the 'bank message'

"Wait a minute...didn't I already give this info.....$%#& %$#% %^#$ this is not my stupid bank....would their email address end in @sympatico.ca. UUUUHHHHH I am an idiot.....Oh my GOD someone may have my information RIGHT NOW. Frick I am such a tool. Ok ok ok call the bank..."


So I did and told them that about the email and to watch for unusual activity. Then I changed my password and called t to tell him about the situation. As always he told me not to worry I did the right thing. The right thing would have been not clicking that link!

2 minutes later her gets an email entitled "cannot breathe" from his lovely if a bit crazy wife,

"oh my god t i am scared that they have my info...i think i am having a minor panic attack...."

(I should just reiterate how lucky I am to have someone that loves me even though I can get myself worked up in less that 3 minutes and then proceed to stress myself to the point of no return)

He very nicely suggested that perhaps I should just cancel my cards for peace of mind...I think it was his peace of mind but it was good call and that is just what I did.

So I owe an apology to the people at VISA and my bank. Thanks for cancelling my cards and not thinking that I was a total nard for clicking a link into a totally FAKE email.
And yes...I will call you back about adjusting my savings account.

thoughts on a sunny saturday

so i am sort of out of my funk....at least for now. i think i need to attempt to stop worrying so much about what the heck i am supposed to be doing. hopefully in giving myself a break i will succeed in moving onto the next step. so i will try to breathe deeply, laugh more, and to give myself a gosh darn rest! perhaps things will start to move if i stop fixating on them...

is it just me?

sometimes i wonder if i am ever going to get it right...even a little bit. i feel like i am not on the right path yet and i feel as though i am floating backwards while everyone puts all they have into paddling forward. this may just be a bad day but it sure seems like i am nowhere near where i hope or want to be, and i know that everyone says "do something about it" but i suppose if i knew what to do i would. i feel like i need some time to reflect and relax. to sort through the blur of time known as my early twenties when my life's direction shifted to neutral and now i am feeling stuck, unsure and so damn tired of worrying that i am not doing anything worthwhile. am i a living shell with a human exterior? or is this an extended quarter-life crisis? or is this all there is...i don't think it is. i know there is more and i so badly need to find some sort of calm fulfillment. perhaps saying it is a step to realising it....i sure hope so.

1:58 PM I just found this:

Think continually about the things you really want,
and refuse to think about the things you don't want.
- Brian Tracy

Point taken.

like a polaroid picture

so as the kids in my family are leaving or have left (as my sis has) the family decided we should have some pictures taken. somewhere in the late 80s (ha this sounds so ominous) we had family portraits taken. my mother decided that my sister and i should be wearing the same dresses (which were black velvet with high cream satin collars and itchy...i hated it but i think it was because i hated being dressed like my sis. she loved it..ask her...she did!) anyhow we never had any professional family pictures taken again. so my brother, who is 16, has never been recorded as a member of our clan. actually he could care less it was more my mom and i thinking it might be a nice idea. so on monday night we all met at a local park and had some photos taken. it was nice, the photographers had us doing crazy stuff like skipping, chicken fighting and dog-piling on each other. yep, no stuffy more photographs for this family. so i am hoping that there are some good ones in the batch, they did take some individual pictures but they didn't give us much direction and i am sure i will look like a tool in them. t, on the other hand, broke out some modeling moves...who knew?

i am so looking forward to the long weekend coming up, i have tacked on a few more days to turn it into a mini vacation. i booked t and i in for a massage on friday night which i cannot wait for and then we head off to BC for a family thanksgiving celebration where we will golf, relax in the hots springs and eat way too much. (i usually forget to leave room for pumpkin pie but i cram it in anyway then spend the rest of the evening on the couch recovering). WEEEEEEEE!

here is my question why is it so expensive to fly in canada? on oct 12 i am joining t in toronto for yes, another long weekend. he has to be out there for work so all i have to do is get there and i can stay for free! i even got to pick a very nice hotel for us. i was trying to book my flight for one weekend, ONLY TWO DAYS, and it cost $900. i was bummed and figured i couldn't go...well i decided i wouldn't go as the cost was insane. but t convinced me to take the monday after off...i did...and it saved about $450, i am not kidding...24 hours later the flight drops to half the cost. that is ridiculous. honestly it is crazy that i could fly to bangkok for about the same amount of money. not to mention that i would probably spend less in two weeks there than two days in toronto! no wonder i have barely seen any of my home country...hey canada isn't our dollar kicking ass right now how about some cheap flights so people will spend their money in our great nation and not the states. sorry americans, no offense.

martha, milkshakes and models

i cannot get going this morning the last few days have been a blur here is a catch up..

• i spent some time is micheal's (yeah i am crafty) and, while there, i came across Martha Stewart's new line of papers, ribbons, cards etc. i am pretty sure that martha has my dream job...
• 4 pieces of pizza, even when starving is never a good plan
• my neighbours, who i love, moved out this saturday. we helped them pack up and said goodbye. i cried.
• t and i worked this saturday. we are almost done the second project we are working on which means we can invoice soon!
• saturday was spent having dinner and drinks with 2 kiwis, 1 american, 1 argentinian and 1 brit. it was very nice to chat with people from all over the world
• yesterday my sis and i drank milkshakes, goofed around and watched clips of models falling on youtube. i know we are mean but seriously i have not laughed like that in a long time. (she leaves on tuesday for asia...i will miss her so much)

what else is in there?

i just found an old pretzel in a pocket of my bag as i was digging around for my lip chap which is constantly finding new and odd places to hide itself. this has made me consider the possibility that i may need to dump out my bag and see what other "treats" are hiding there. i sincerely hope that there will NOT be anything green, furry or questionably smelly. wish me luck.

reading rules

right now i am reading The Golden Compass and all i want to do is curl up with a cup of tea, a warm fleece blanket and read all day. it is really nice to get back to reading again, it has been so long since i have been able to (or felt that I had time to) read. but now i am on a roll and there are two more books in the series so i have more reading to look forward to.....YAY!

kid nation first impression and ideas

kid nation may be my new favourite show. i have only seen the premiere episode but so far it is quite interesting. yes it is a reality-type show (boo) but it involves 40 kids without adult assistance or supervision who have to create a working society for 40 days in the New Mexico desert. pretty interesting to watch the kids, aged 8 to 15, try to work out how to function together. the kids are are little geniuses, which takes away from the concept a bit, but i think this is a very interesting idea. perhaps we should get all the world's leaders together, take away all their "people", leave them in a deserted town in the middle of nowhere and tell them they need to sort their sh&t out. oh wait....better plan, add their wives into the mix as well....yep there we go NOW we are on our way...

still i have to watch a few more to see how it goes.

the count down is on

so here is the scoop we are planning to drive from canada to the tip of south america stopping where we choose along the way. i know...yes we may be crazy. travelling to central and south america was my idea but the driving part was all t's, so there..he can't try to push this insanity onto me. the plan is to leave mid-january which is good timing because it should be about -40 here (for real).
since arriving home about 4 years ago i have been itching to leave again. don't get me wrong i love my hometown but i just feel there is so much out there to see and learn about that i would be cheating myself if i did not step into the unknown again. and one of my biggest fears is waking up at the ripe old age of 80 and realizing that i should have gone for it instead of spending my life being too chicken to risk it. that being said sometimes i wonder if it is a good plan career-wise to leave at the young age of 26. it does mean a whole swack of resume issues...but i am going to have faith that i will either be able to find work down there or that my next interview will be with an avid traveller who will hire me and pay me $80k a year because i am so well-travelled. ha ha ha i make myself laugh i really do.
so there it is...the countdown is on 4 months to go.

i never win anything

but TA DAAAAAAAAA today i won something!

it is not that i am unlucky but as far as draws. raffles, carnival games, well... pretty much any sort of event that one could win a prize by competing i never win. i am not bitter about it...in fact i am ok with it, not everyone can win.

but this morning at i donated $5 to eat a yummy breakfast, and after this delish breakie there was a draw for everyone who had participated and they called....ME and i won a $50 gift certificate to a shopping mall (which is fabulous because i saw another dress i love....more on that some other time)

perhaps a change of luck is upon me.

freaking exciting!

things freaking me out....

• it is September...we leave in January
• our apartment has somehow accumulated waaaaaay more stuff than expected in the last 4 years
• we have to clean out and pack up our stuff (see above) and store it...somewhere
• what am i doing with my life (this is a constant thing to stress out so no reason why it shouldn't make it onto this list)
• how am i going to pack up my beloved clothes and shoes and live out of a backpack again (yeah yeah whatever i can't help it)
• will our little beloved VW (a.k.a Marlin) be up for the driving challenge
• how are we going to get around Columbia???

but i am excited about

• hitting the road
• learning to speak spanish more fluently (please please please)
• beaches to hang out on
• learning to surf..i have to before we move to NZ otherwise i won't be able to keep up with the boys
• my amazing camera that is going to capture this adventure
• getting to see another part of the world with t, this time as a couple (yeah whole other story..perhaps one day i will blog about that)
• the potential to maybe work abroad again
• seeing the world from another point of view
• saying "see ya" to the oil and gas madness that has taken over this province
• meeting new people and cultures
• that feeling of not knowing what you are going to do that day

didn't yo' momma teach you right?

we saw crowded house last night. t, my lovely kiwi husband, is a fan and i got him tickets as an anniversary gift. it was one of the best concerts i have been to in a long time. the only was unfortunate thing was the obnoxious women sitting behind us. it started off 2 ladies, who i assume were drunk (i think that is the nicest excuse for them) talking SO LOUD over the opening acts. i think my entire row was holding onto some serious rage. i decided that the best bet would be to get the usher to speak to them, that way we could all prevent a "scene". perfect! the usher spoke to them they were pretty quiet for the show....but about 3 minutes into it this other mother/ daughter combo starts to shout about their respective days. honestly...it was enough to make me lose it..i didn't but i was pretty close. this can't be said for the guy who was sitting in front of them, he turned around about 3 times to talk to them and every time they were unbelievably rude back. low class my friends low class.
but the concert was too much fun and it was great to see t smiling and bobbing his head along to old faves. i am happy that i could give him a little bit of his home here in canada...
oh yeah and someone in front of me smelled like old sausage. EWWWWW!

whup some mental block ass

i have kicked my mental block's fat ass. yep that is right after looking at my sewing machine for 2 years i have finally started it up and am well on my way to making....pajama pants. ok ok not so glamourous but it is a move in the right direction. see i LOVE fashion, i do and i am ok with how shallow that is. i have always thought that designing clothes would be awesome but was too scared to try. but i have now and i really really REALLY like it. makes me wonder why i was so scared to do it before. i guess when what you really want is right in front of you it is easy to miss.

thank goodness

i am thankful for:

• my ugg boots (yeah yeah i know they are ugly but it is COLD and we have hardwood floors)
• good health
• my family
• old songs that make you smile
• t's hugs
• time off of work

genki des

finished up work on friday and am happily hanging out in the house. actually i am trying to clean it up as it is a mess and we have a guest coming to stay! it is a friend of ours from Japan. he was the second friend of T's that i met. he super cool and let me stay with him in Tokyo even though he did not know me and he could only go on T's word. i think i won him over with my burping ability....c'mon guys love that. (i became a burping champ in school as all my close friends were guys and well...i had to be able to keep up) so i am busy being domestic and relaxing. i have some time off so i am hoping to have a clean house, use my sewing machine and read the latest Harry Potter.

facebook conspiracy

although i will admit i am addicted to facebook i cant help but wonder about it...maybe ponder is a better word. this massive social network allows you to find friends that you have not heard from since elementary school, pretty cool. but are we supposed to be back in contact with these people? i wonder if they leave your life for a reason and, now, are suddenly around again what effects does this have. or what do you do about people who you sort of know but not really and they want to be your friend? what do you do? be their friend, ignore them or even reject them? and really when you have like 250 friends has this just turned into, basically, a high school popularity contest? and then there is the whole personal information thing. t, who is probably right on this, believes that they are tracking what you do, say, what you like and don't, and where you are. this is like handing marketing companies the information they so desperately want. and i think this can be seen in the new polls that are on the facebook home page when you sign in. "what kind of toothpaste do you like" was one poll i saw. all those applications like "what are you listening to?" to "where you have traveled to" reveal a lot of valuable information. that being said i am not closing down the ol' facebook account quite yet...it has been a great way to keep in touch with friends overseas find those people i wished i had kept in touch with, but i am wary of what i say on it and i have chosen not to add any of the outside applications as they are not under the same privacy policy as facebook claims to be. so i guess it is more about being aware that being scared, or you can relive this conversation i had with t:

t : just say you were being hunted down by the them

kels: why? what did you do

t: that is not relevant, just say "they" were looking for you

kels: they?

t: ok the government

kels; ok but why?

t: kels...that is not the point the point is that this facebook account would screw you because they would know everything about you....right, from where you are, to what you like, all your contact information, to all your
friends

kels: ok i guess so....but why would you be running from the government

t: (sighs and rolls his eyes) i have already said that is NOT the point

kels: ummm ok....so i am keeping my account

t: fine....hey can you look for some friends of mine

decision

bono or "the edge"?

piggyback rides, smacking spoons and sugar

last night was finally a quiet one. After work i went to my gym class, it is entitled “commando cardio” and no we don’t work out naked. Actually it is this boot camp style class that makes me cringe before i go but after it i feel awesome. We spent the whole class partnered up and running around doing wheelbarrows and piggybacking our partners while running. Let me just say that i am SO glad that my partner was a small, yet muscular, nice gal. I am sure my knees would have buckled had i been paired up with one the 250 pound guys in our class and asked to piggyback him across the room. (although i bet it would have been funny to watch) after receiving a compliment from the instructor about looking “toned not skinny” I was feeling pretty fit. Got home and watched our neighbour smack spoons against his body and dance around our living room while chanting some oddly accented English. I love this guy. T and i tried to figure out what to eat for dinner, both is getting grumpier by the second, we decided on take out Indian. Not bad butter chicken but i have had better. Then we watched “Amelie”, one of my favourite movies, and increased our chances of diabetes by eating 3 different FunDip flavours. Remember those from when you were a kid, the candy stick that you lick and then stick into pure sugar? Man i had not had one in years...so good. Well i thought it was, T wasn’t so sure about the burning sensation on his tongue.

excel is a pain but DAMN my eyebrows look good

right now all i can see is grid lines even when i close my eyes .

it is early, i have had maybe five hours of sleep and i am trying to decide whether i like excel or want to punch in the screen of our mac. as mentioned, T and i are working together and part of what i bring to the table is my ability to present and organize information (hello nerd). honestly 2 years ago i was terrified of excel, i think i even failed an excel ability test that i took at a temp agency. the girl looked and me and said “so ummm, how do you think you did?” like that is ever a good question to be asked. anyhow much has changed since then. i would say i am well on my way to becoming an excel wizard. but i have a love / hate relationship with it. i love it for its ability to neatly present things but i hate it when it randomly flips out and refuses to listen to my commands. when cells won’t paste into others for whatever reason it makes my blood boil. T who is a designer, has not had much experience with excel and was using it last night for a client document. i set up the spreadsheet and then decided that i needed a computer break and watched “so you think you can dance”. all the while i could hear T mumbling profanities...this is a man who uses programs like vectorworks, illustrator and indesign. seems crazy that of all programs to give him grief excel seemed to be the pain in his arse. i tried to help him out where i could but he is like me and we both do not like to told how to do something, so it was a lesson in knowing when to pick your battles. as of 11pm last night the spreadsheet looked great!

after happily shutting down excel i went to work on an article that i am planning to submit. T was nice enough to stay up to 12am with me editing and making suggestions. then he stumbled off the bed while i stayed up and worked on it until 1:30am. hard to say whether it is ok or not, T had a read this am and told me he thought it was good. whether that is true or not remains to be seen. i am getting ready to submit it and hope to hear some sort of response.

on a totally different note my eyebrows look great! got them done by my little Czech esthetician this morning. ladies..you know what i am saying. Dudes yeah i know this makes no sense to you but taming unruly brows gives us gals some serious satisfaction.

the lady life or biatch?

so my face has recovered from when i got beaned last week. and i am feeling less guilt about quitting my job. i guess i can whine about it or suck it up and face the future which lately has been difficult for me. but i keep thinking that it has got to get better soon, so with that in my back pocket i am looking at all the options and preparing myself to make better choices when it comes to my career. the past few years have been rough but i have learned a lot about myself as well as what i like to do...which is not necessarily the same as what i am good at. but i do know that i need to have a lot of contact with people, just sitting in the same area does not work for me. also i love to be creative and the past few jobs have not let me express myself this way, although they have taught me a great deal of other important skills. so i have decided that i can be pickier with jobs, i don't have to choose the first thing that comes along. i suppose i am lucky too as T is around and working, he says he just wants me to be happy. to make things easier the two of us have some work together so i will not be a penniless mooch lying on the couch, brushing leftover chips off my ever expanding waistline, while he slaves away. actually it is pretty nice i am doing some copy changes for a client. i used to be a serious creative writer in high school but a degree in kinesiology pretty much sucked that right out of my life. so i am very nervous to be writing again but at the same time very excited. i am keeping my ear to the ground on other creative opportunities that interest me so if anyone has any suggestions on what a creative, athletic, moody, goofy, travel crazed gal should be doing let me know. to "life" bring it on biAtch.....i am ready.

i hope so

Failure is only a temporary change in direction to
set you straight on the path to your next success.
- Denis Waitley

bad things x 3 = change of luck, right?

Ever have one of those days? I sure did yesterday, here is what happened:

• I quit my job after much deliberating (about 3 months worth)
• Told my boss right after a meeting where it was mentioned that we have so much work to do and not enough people (in my defense she pulled me aside as i had asked to speak to her when she had a minute)
• T met me for lunch in a foul mood and we proceeded to spend the lunch hour arguing
• Had to chat with the managing partner on why i was leaving
• Played rec volleyball when i did not really want to
• Got smacked very HARD in the face with a team mates elbow / shoulder / ??? not really sure since i got hit and did not actually see it
• My eye swelled up and i cried in front of about 12 strangers
• Woke up this morning with my eye being crusted shut and super swollen

Yep good times anyhow i am sure i am due for a change of luck now. i look like i got into a brawl last night, fortunately i am covering the swelling pretty well with makeup and my bangs, i flipped them to the other side. there are definitely days i when i wish i could see the future because if i knew what was going to happen yesterday i would have stayed in bed.

weddings are fun with my fam

we had a family friend's wedding to go to. my sis and i were really good childhood friends with all the girls in this family but as we grew older we grew apart since we all went to different schools. it was a beautiful wedding but you know how weddings can be if you are not really that close or involved in them. so my siblings and i did this.....

oishii

t and i had a t & t adventure on Sunday. it is an asian market full of asian treats. i love going there even though the last time we were there a very tiny Chinese lady rammed her cart into the back if my thighs and i made the mistake of pushing back, and she went off like a swear word siren. lucky for me it was in Chinese, but it is noted that as a tall white girl i am NOT allowed to do the push back ever. anyhoooo, this trip was so fun. i love seeing all the fruits and vegtables i was used to seeing and eating while i was overseas ( i spent 1.5 years in asia). it made me miss japan even more. but i did get to scoop up some of my Japanese favourites including these chip-like treats we call Calbee. they are soybean shaped and green and have the texture of a cheeto. weird yes..delish, absolutely. we also purchased green plums which were very good, i have only ever seen purple ones but i think the green are better. i think my favourite part was when we decided to buy tuna as they have the best selection of fresh fish. so we wander through the maze of people to the counter and look at all the varieties of fish. i am not a huge fan of fish smell of seeing them lying on the ice but what made me squeal was when one of the fish heads (as in not attached to a body) opened and closed it mouth while its eyes moved. EW EW EEEEEEEW. while i was containing my squirmishness t tried to ask for tuna, one guy looked at us confused and pointed to a lady for us to pose our question. so t tried her...she walked us over to the fish and drew her arm like vanna white over the fish counter as if to say “here is the tuna” except that there were about 7 different fish lying there. since we don’t know how to recognize tuna in its uncanned form (ok maybe just me) we gave up. sigh..... it is pretty cool when you are in white, red-neck Alberta and there is an entire grocery store where people don’t speak English. I love it.

BO versus cologne

i am pretty active and regularly hit the gym or go for a run around 6 am. (before you give me crap i am NOT a morning person, i have just trained myself to get up an out early so i can laze around in the evenings) anyhoooo this morning i went to the gym. i literally get dressed in 3 minutes and head out the door. yep it is not so pretty but it is early and i don’t care. i am there to workout and i don't do small talk at the gym. i do,however, take the time to put on deodorant unlike the gentleman i worked out beside this morning. i got trapped. i walked up the elliptical,as i usually do, put my water bottle in the holder and WHAM! was hit by a wave of really horrible man BO. i know i know i stink too when i work out but i am pretty sure not like this. But then i was stuck...i could not just pick up my stuff and change machines, how bad would that look and how awful would stinky guy feel. so i stuck it out and he was only there for about 10 minutes before he left. perfect. or so i thought...this other guy gets on the same elliptical wearing an overwhelming amount of cologne. in fact it turned my stomach and gave me a headache. i am not sure why you would bother with cologne at the gym...maybe he knew the guy before me stank so tried to even it out. Beats me, i am still trying to decide if BO beats the cologne.

metaphors, meh and secrets

so things have been trucking along but there have been a few potholes. fortunately i am working on the paving part...sigh i really could talk in metaphors all day but then i suppose at the end of the day i would forget what i was talking about. anyhow back to straight forward, which i am, apparently to a fault at times. perhaps i am too honest but really i don't believe in lying but i suppose it comes off not so nice at times. i digress, back to the metaphor speak so things have been sort of meh for me umm...professionally (ironic isn't it? i want to be more direct but i do see the danger of blogs and being too honest so i will have to work around the issue a bit). so i have decided that the only one who can make it change is me. so i feel more positive already and am doing a mental tap dance on the guilt i have surrounding this, wait maybe it is more flamenco style (i like the dresses much more).
i watched "the secret" about 2 months ago and although cheesy i think there really is some truth to what and how you think affects the world around you (ex: positive thinking bring positive opportunities). sometimes i am bad at this whole positive thinking because i feel that this whole idea is a bit hippy dippy but then when i see someone,who is happy and excuding positive vibes, loving life i think there must be something to it. and since i have been thinking that traveling the world, living on beaches and growing my hair down my back beats sitting in an office all day, i think i may just have a hidden flower child on the inside. but a clean flower child - i will never not shower or wear patchouli (aka soil smell) perfume in case you were worried.

gross floors, good friends and gord

on friday night i:

• did a little stampede partying
• had a few vodka tonics
• tried avoid the questionable puddles on the floor at cowboys
• line-danced with my sis
• was in way too many silly photos (if i figure out how i will try and post one)
• watched my husband put spurs on with his flip flops
• contemplated the dress code at the calgary stampede
• was amazed that completely random people feel that they can say whatever they want to you while intoxicated

on saturday i:

• had breakie with a good friend of mine
• rehydrated (see above)
• had more drinks on our front lawn with friends
• made a yummy dinner of turkey burgers

on sunday i:

• had to go to a bridal shower (it was nice...really just not my thing that is all)
• tried to buy shorts but arrived 5 minutes after the store closed (grrrrrr)
• went to the tragically hip concert where gord downie danced, writhed, crawled, jumped and sang his heart out on stage
• ate one last bag of mini dougnuts

hassles cost $5

(July 12, 2007)

so last night was a mission and a half. kait, my little sis, and i had to buy a bridal shower gift for a shower we are going to this weekend...before i start my story i should probably explain just how much i dislike this part of what we call “the wedding”.
why do we need parties to celebrate the bigger party...why are there no men at a shower....why do these events have themes and games (blech). i know they are traditional and that i am sure some people love them but i get all weirded out by them. yes you are getting married, yes it is a very big decision, but it is not the only big one you will make in your life. (FYI kait did plan a shower for me due to our mother’s insistence on it, i did not want one but i got one and i know kait planned it against her will so i forgave her....there were no games)

anyhooo so there we are in home outfitters strolling aisles while we ponder what to buy (it had to be plate related because yep...it is a “plate” party) so after a bit kait starts muttering that she is going to kill herself and i am wondering if the massage chair might kill me, we moved on to pier 1, mikasa and finally indigo. yup, the bookstore is where we found our plates. Success and no bloodshed... well at least not that moment. So we get 2 plates, 1 set of cute coasters, and a cookbook. we practically ran to the till we were so happy...plus that is where the lindor chocolates are. enter new cashier...there we are at the front all excited to be done and kait asks if they have a box for one of the plates, cashier replies “are you asking for a box?” i was a bit taken aback as i had just heard what kait said, so how could this person not? kait said “uh yeah that is what i asked for”. We get a no on the box. ok cool then maybe we can get it to fit in the bigger box with the other plate. So we checked it out and things look good, kait makes sure the cashier gets the code so that we can put the 2 away together. i ask for gift receipts (a must with any wedding related gift) and then i get 3 different ones including one for the card. at this point i am laughing out loud....as someone who worked in retail for a long time i cannot believe this craziness. we leave slightly pissed off but glad we are done.

15 minutes later... i arrive at my folks place where i was going to wrap the gift before kait and i watched “so you think you can dance.” i started digging through the bag and realize i am not only missing another gift receipt but my original receipt, with the list of what we had bought, is no where to be seen. i call the store, speak to a helpful sales associate who locates my receipt...then i had a bad feeling and asked if the smaller plate was on there, it was not. so basically we have stolen a plate (ironic as kait made a joke about this in the beginning). at this point i am not impressed but said i would get back there to sort it all out

2 hours later... after watching our dance show and eating jalapeno cheese i went back to indigo to sort this whole mess out. i get there pull out all the stuff, talk with the manager, try not to get frustrated, buy the stolen plate, get all my receipts and, get this, i was given a $5 gift card for the hassle...yes $5 covers my gas and annoyance. Sheeeeeeeesh. at least give me a book...or, if i was kait, the bucket of lindor chocolates.

9 days of fun

i am back after 9 days of checking out the west coast. Too may things to write about so i will list them

Attended a baseball game in Vancouver, am reminded why people get drunk at these events (way too long)
Walked Robson on Canada day
Arrived in Tofino when it was pouring rain
Bought tarp in Tofino, t climbed trees to put it up
Saw the most amazing forests and the biggest slugs i have ever seen
T surfed, i sunned (and fought off a huge bug all by myself) on the beach
Paid $1 for a 3.5 minute shower and managed to have time to spare
Got truckers to honk as we drove to Victoria
Explored Victoria, who knew all the crazy stuff that is here in Canada
Ate at Rebar restaurant twice, it was food heaven!
Decorated 2 flower girl baskets
Attended a very beautiful wedding
Cried at the beautiful wedding
Danced at the wedding too
Drove the long way home...sigh

in the last 4 days

in the last 4 days i have:

learned how not to transfer emails from mac enoutrage to microsoft outlook
attempted to pack light (HA HA HA)
gotten 2 new blisters (note to shoe-lovers out there, wear them in first)
driven to vancouver
had a LOT of beer
enjoyed lunch with my cool aunt and uncle
watched about 6 espisodes of "Gene Simmons: Family Jewels"
tried to not get crushed by my cousins' two massive dogs
searched endlessly for black flats to replace my old ones that are dying to no avail :(
realized how much i like the west coast
finally relaxed and gotten into vacation mode

slow motion

why does the week before vacation feel like it is in slow motion? t and i leave for the west coast on friday...i can't wait!!!

dinner, deafness and crest strips

Last night was a bit nutty. I had spanish which was ok except that I had not done any homework (bad I know) and I was a bit tired after staring at a computer screen all day. Then I made friends with the rescued cat my neighbours have (he has been living in their closet for about 4 months so the fact that he let me pet him is a good thing). Later on t took me for dinner at cilantro, one of my favourite restaurants, where we ate and drank in celebration of our 2nd anniversary. Let me tell you about my most favourite appetizer in the world. It is a portabello mushroom stuffed (and maybe baked?) with goat cheese. Honestly it makes me giddy. I always want to just order 2 for dinner but I suspect that may be viewed as little bit odd and perhaps over indulgent. We had the same waiter that we had the last time we were there and he speaks in tone that I swear is unrecognizable to my ears. him: “would you like something to hgsmnbakf this evening” me (looking at t anxiously hoping that he can understand what the guy is saying): “ummmm (think think think) yes I would like a white wine (YES!)” every time he came over I got nervous about having to ask him to repeat himself and t thought I was nuts at first and then after listening to the waiter for awhile agreed that he had one weird tone to his voice. The evening ended with us saying hi to our downstairs neighbours when we got home and laughing our heads off as ed proceeded to swear in turkish to our amusement while wearing crest strips.
I love those guys.

year 2

So today is our 2nd year wedding anniversary and I can barely believe that it has gone that fast. It has been an interesting ride so far and we are starting to get it but we both think that “the second year is much better than the first” so here is to many more years may they get better and better!

10 random facts about me

1. I love to dance I started when I was 3 in ballet and tap and even though I don’t take classes anymore, if the music is going I find it hard to not start moving to it
2. My freckles appeared when I was in grade 4
3. One time I ate 2 (yes TWO) footlong subs...it was a family record, my little bro, who is 6’2, has quashed that record many times over now.
4. Once i got a chair stuck on my head (yes i know...i was 2, beats me what I was doing)
5. I often get the giggles late at night and cannot stop to t’s dismay, and I keep him awake as long as I can
6. In grade two i punched someone for budging in line (I was standing up for another kid....my dad is still proud of that I think)
7. My sister is my best friend
8. I am a very fast reader, and can devour books in one sitting if I have the time
9. Traveling is my religion
10. I do high kicks when too intoxicated (t will confirm this) I also drop my bag, if I am carrying one, a lot in this state

public state of undress

Last night I was having dinner on 17th ave and witnessed numerous girls in pretty um.....tiny outfits. here is my question...who said that booty shorts are appropriate ANYWHERE but your own home. I mean I am all for showing off “watcha got” to an extent. If I can see the crease where your butt and thigh meet I think that it is time for longer shorts. incidentally I was with my friend who is training to be a nurse, she informed me that this is called the gluteal fold should you want correct terminology...i think maybe threase – thigh/crease may be a good name for it too or maybe thrack – thigh/crack (this one sounds like an STD...ew). what is up with this sort of fashion statement, when did it become acceptable even expected for women to dress like this. I am not sure, perhaps the male population likes to look at this, but I can’t imagine that they take these women seriously, these are not the type of women they would want to form a serious relationship with. What happened to leaving something to the imagination? Less really is more, I mean I don’t want to be eating my ‘el taco’ (which is totally delicious and can be found at the coup) and then have someone’s butt in my face.
As a young woman I really find this a major step back for ‘equalism’ (my version of feminism, equality and respect for both genders). my mother’s generation fought hard to beat stereotypes and discrimination and now we have 10 year old girls who want to be pussycat dolls. Is this new generation going to take woman back 50 years? I am very scared they might. With people like harper and bush in government we are already seeing rights that have been hard fought for and won, like abortion, being questioned. That makes me crazy, that anyone thinks they have the right to control anyone else’s body is beyond me. I don’t think I have the right at all to dictate how women dress but I think I have the right to say to women in general that we are so much more than our bodies and being well-read, intelligent and funny is a lot sexier than gluteal folds.

just throw it out the window

t and i are coming up on our 2 year anniversary and i have been thinking a lot about marriage and partnerships. i am so lucky. he really is a constant source of support for me and i know that i am very lucky that someone can deal with all my moods. not only is he sweet and kind, he makes me laugh harder than anyone i know and we share an unusual affliction that causes us to do rather odd things. for example one day, after i had moved in with him in japan after knowing him for a total of 1 week, (which is really crazy in itself when i think about it) we were lounging about his one-room apartment and i had this urge to throw my toast out the window and, boy, did i whip that bread out the window. then without any hesitation t sent a banana soaring out the window right after my toast! then he muttered in his kiwi accent "yep, they needed to be thrown" and i totally agreed. it makes me laugh even now. who else can you throw stuff out the window with and then whole heartedly agree that it HAD to go. among other amazing traits he might be the only person in the world i can travel with, we have managed to make it through India and all the umm...interesting illnesses that can come with it...like t's possible case of malaria and a 5 day period of us tag teaming the bathroom due to Delhi belly (it is funny now, although at the time i thought we would die of dysentery in the Himalayas).
and i am looking forward to our future travels and adventures. and i guess that is what is pretty cool after 5 years, i really look forward to spending time with him even though i see him everyday. so to my hubby...you really are the best.

my cardy

you know when you have something that you really love, that will never let you down and always look good....well mine is my gap cardigan from 2001 that i bought for $12.99. it is off-white, 3/4 length sleeve cardigan with a small eyelet pattern covering it. and honestly it is the best sweater ever. it looks great with jeans or works with dresses. i can throw it is the washer and dryer (oooh bad i know) and it still comes out the same. linus has his blanket and i have my cardy. sometimes it really is the little things that make you feel better.

PS the sun is out today HALLELUJAH!!!

weather

My question to the weather gods and goddesses:
why oh why does it rain all weekend and then on Monday the clouds part to reveal the lovely sunshine?

sweet dreams

i had a weird dream last night. I was pregnant and was going into labour (which might I say hurt in my dream) and then all of a sudden my belly popped off. It was like this really weird balloon where my belly button was the place where you tie the knot to keep the air in. even in my dream I was thinking I don’t think this is how it usually goes but my dream doc was telling me it was normal and that once I was ready it would re-attach. right. anyhow I kept waking up through the night but I kept coming back to this dream. Decided to find out what pregnancy in dreams means...

Pregnant
To dream that you are pregnant, symbolizes an aspect of yourself or some aspect of your personal life that is growing and developing. You may not be ready to talk about it or act on it. This may also represent the birth of a new idea, direction, project or goal.

Belly
To see your belly in your dream, indicates that your are processing and integrating your ideas and feelings from the unconscious to the conscious level. The belly symbolically holds repressed emotions and unexpressed feelings. Your dream may also be telling you to trust your gut feeling and intuition.
To see a pregnant belly, represents emotions that are due to come to the surface. They can no longer remain suppressed.

Ok ok so I googled it, here is the site if you are interested.

So guess things may be coming to fruition. All in all I think these things seem pretty good to me. I think I am getting closer to being able to move forward.

On another note I ate about 8 pieces of baklava the other day. I just cannot help myself with sweets. But nuts are good for you right?

bangs and small talk

so in regards to my last post things are better well...sorted out at least. i do think that i made a poor decision to open my mouth but live and learn i guess. although i feel as though i have learned this lesson time and time again.
anyway on to lighter things, like my hair. i cut straight bangs, they are longer so they are sort of in my eyes a bit but i think it was a good change. plus i think if i hate them in a month they will grow out fast. sweet.
had a work party last night, the company's one year anniversary. i am not very good at shmoozing people....you know small talk and charming everyone over. in fact it makes me really uncomfy but i did try and managed to have one really awkward conversation with a new client. it was going ok until i was out of things to say and was looking for a way to end the chat...we did the "nice talking to you" and then i started frantically looking for someone to catch my eye so that i could look like i HAD to go. no such luck so i just kind of looked like a dork. UuuuUUUUUUhhhhhhhh i really wish i was not so goofy. but then in a way i am kind of ok with not being some super charmer as i have never been big on kissing up to people and i think that is why i am bad at these type of events. it just feels so false to me.

instinct is always correct

i dont even know what to say today as things have gotten a bit out of hand. i made a crucial error at work and now i have to sort it out....not really work stuff more coworker stuff. sigh. one day i will learn to remain silent and hold my tongue but i suppose i needed this lesson. to go with your gut. i ignored mine (yet again) and now my gut is biting me in the ass. ew that is disgusting. meh at least i still have my sense of humour.

dont drool and drive

had to see the dentist early this morning for 2 fillings. i have never had one and i was pretty scared about having a needle shoved into my face. but to be honest that needle part was not too bad. as long as i dont see the needle i am ok. reminds me of when i had a tear duct infection and my eye doc (not my uncle but one who works with him) told me was going to flush out the eye. i was like yeah no problem bring on the wash...then he pulls out a 4 inch long needle that he wanted to poke into my tear duct to flush it out....yeah that did not happen. i kept trying to let him do it and then the glinting needle would freak me out and i would move away. so he gave up and then told me to come back and we would try again, well that was about 6 years ago and i never went back. and my tear duct is just fine, thank you very much.
anyhow the dentist today was ok...except at one point he told me i was a "grinder" which he emphasized by adding a scottish accent to it (some more like GGgrrrrrrrrrrindeRRR). i am not sure what that was about as he is not scottish...but i did appreciate that it made me smile on the inside since he was drilling into my tooth, my mouth was being held open and my whole face was pretty much frozen so smiling on the outside was not an option.
oh yeah and i paid the equivalent of my half of rent for an hour of his time. dentist fees are crazy..if i did not think that looking in someone's mouth was disgusting it might have been a good career option well maybe not but i would have amazing shoes.
the drive back was insane. everywhere i turned roads were closed down. this city is a nightmare to drive in right now. i was about to have serious road rage. honestly between the rain, 14th street north being closed, 10th ave north having slowed down due to flashing lights, and people driving like jerks it was enough to make me think about pulling over and reading my book for an hour....except that i have to work. so i managed to pull it together and drive back. but i am pondering writing to the paper about the roads in this city, i know everyone feels the same but there must be a better way to deal with it.
ps prime minister harper calgary is not dealing well with the infrastructure issues...i thought you knew that aren't you from here?

Nippon

June 5

I am listening to jeff buckley right now and it is taking me back to my time in japan. I used to listen to this cd while I walked to the train station from one of my rural schools. Everything was closed even though it was 9 at night. I passed an odd assortment of things; silhouettes of Japanese families through rice paper windows, crazy neon lights, a very weird Japanese meathead gym and at the end I’d cross a large bridge to arrive at the station that would take me home to nagano. Even though it could get quite lonely there I think it was good for me and now I long for those days of anonymity. I kind of enjoyed that if I turned my phone off no one would know where I was in the world….sort of zen..well for me anyway. It is funny how the word “home” is totally relative….if you have not read global soul by pico iyer I totally recommend it. He discusses the global community and how we often can fit where we don’t expect to…..he is East Indian and oddly enough, calls japan home.

oooohhhh johnnny

So it is finally warm in calgary which is so great. Hard to believe it snowed here 2 weeks ago and now it is plus 27 degrees out. Spent Friday afternoon working with t, which was fun, it was our first job together and then met up with our amazing neighbours for a picnic. I spent some time trying to figure out my new camera but, as I have never taken a photography class in my life, it is proving to be interesting.
Saturday was awesome, t and I wandered around the city and probably walked about 8 km just walking about the city. Calgarians do know how to make the most of the summer and there are festivals every weekend. There was a lot of dancing which I love! (most people who know me already know that I have a mad love of dance and according to my mom this started off when I danced to macho duck at the age of 2) the thing with dance performances is this....if you are not really sure of the steps you probably should not be dancing. I know I know harsh...but it is true, I have done my fair share of dance recitals and it is imperative that you know you part inside and out (thank you mr and mrs rothwell). And nothing is more noticeable that a dancer trying to sneak looks at another dancer’s feet. Anyhow I do give them a heartfelt good effort as it is never easy to perform in front of an audience.
Saturday evening we ate the most delicious indian food and then went to see “pirates of the carribbean 3”. It was ok....not the best one for sure but what girl could say no to seeing johnny depp. I still love that guy...loved him since 21 jump street. ha! you know you did too...

too darn short

had a good weekend considering both t and i are sick and fighting a nasty cold that appears to have taken over most of calgary. friday night was spent reminiscing with my high school friends about well....high school. to my dismay t had a nice long look through old year books as i cringed in horror at old pictures of gap teeth, gawky legs and amazingly bad glasses. sigh...but i could not help but laugh...as i looked at every one of my old friends doing exactly the same thing. the years of 12 to 16 are not always nice but at least it was like that for most. and thank heavens we grow out of it well...mostly. i still feel like that awkward kid alot but i suppose that is what keeps us humble.
saturday was spent distracting a friend while her husband prepared a surprise 30th birthday bbq party for her. it was pretty fun and apparently i am quite the actress as she had no idea. i started playing around with my new camera at the party and took tonnes of pictures with it, now i just have to figure out how to upload them to the computer.
we wandered around lilac fest on sunday but it was insanely busy and crowds like that put me into a bad mood as i feel like people are rude and pushy. then i get rude and pushy...vicious cycle. we headed home and took a detour at the drug store for nyquil in hopes of killing the cold. did not work but we both slept well. then we capped off the evening with a hot dog and a b rate horror film that a friend of mine made. it was pretty cool to see someone doing what they love and to see all the friends who came out to support it.
so that was my weekend, they are never long enough that is for sure...

but a fond memory

Things have been quieter which is welcome as I am person who recharges by spending quality time alone. also I have missed my knitting and I am back on making a pair of slippers for a friend. They are surprisingly easy which is nice or maybe my knitting skills are just getting better.

The other night I met up with some people from high school....some of them I have not seen since the last day of grade 12. It was pretty crazy but really nice at the same time. Everyone has turned out great and it is nice to meet them all as adults and laugh about the immature days of high school. It was the crazy phenomenon known as facebook that brought us all back together. I am glad of it as next year is our 10 year reunion but I do not expect to be here for it so this is a great way to find out what people are up to these days. Kind of surreal but also quite cool to see where everyone is and how they are.
So to my old pals it is truly nice to see you all!

FYI

To the guy I saw the other night wearing leggings...well really what can I say except what were you thinking? I know you had all your MEC gear on and that you looked very fit (because I could see everything) but seriously aren’t there any other pants that you could wear? Like a nice pair of longer shorts that are not skintight. FYI I think the legging trend is for girls.

to me

so it is one of those days where it is beautiful outside (26 degrees for goodness sake) and i am stuck inside. sigh. i suppose that is the way it goes but i find myself reminiscing for my university days when i had 4 months off and worked shift work so i often had days off to relax in the sun. who knew that years after wishing to be done school i would be wistfully recalling how great those days were. man if we could only go back and tell out younger selves to quit whining and enjoy it.
actually i would tell my younger self many things:

1- go to art school or fashion school
2- think about what you would like to do for a career (it will be an issue)
3-you are attractive in your own interesting way
4-maybe you should date around :)
5-floss more (had a bad trip to the dentist 2 weeks ago)
6-exercise more for goodness sake you are in kinesiology!
7-maybe you should consider switching programs
8-wear shorter skirts you have great legs and it is ok to know that
9-do crazy stuff now
10-remember that your family knows you best even if you don't believe it

i have alot more to tell my younger self but i think maybe i should focus on my "self" now and start getting in touch with the future self...

quote

"Find out what you like doing best and
get someone to pay you for doing it."
 
- Katherine Whitehorn



hi katherine?  yeah....call me.

dudes don't want twigs

after having a conversation with a friend about womens' body image issue as well as our own i could not help but think how totally crazy it is that we even allow ourselves to succumb to society's ridiculous standards. but i know that it is not easy to ignore the pressure and i believe that all women feel it to some extent. anyhow here is a male perspective on the "thin" issue, found it in today's herald.
nice to hear dudes don't want twigs.


Tyra's chubby-is-beautiful crusade rings hollow

As we all get fatter, fashion models get thinner

David Staples

Edmonton Journal

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Supermodel Tyra Banks, the latest crusader for the notion that chubby is beautiful, is acting a bit odd these days.

Not only is Tyra now on the cover -- looking all sleek and bikini-clad -- of pro-slender Shape magazine, but all of the finalists on her show America's Next Top Model are various shapes of skinny, skinny and skinny.

If you look at Tyra's words, as opposed to her actions, there's no doubt she has talked a good -- and undeniably feel-good -- game when it comes to bashing the fashion industry for pushing skinny models on the public, as opposed to hiring more normal-looking, plus-sized beauties for magazine spreads and runway shows.

She recently launched a campaign called,"So What!", which is apparently the proper comeback to shout out if someone criticizes her or any other woman for being too portly.

And this year, on her show, America's Next Top Model, Tyra even picked two plus-sized models to be in the Final 12.

But those two bigger girls are now long gone, and the competition is down to the survival of the slimmest.

One finalist, Jaslene, is the kind of curves-challenged model that most guys absolutely do not find attractive, but for some reason is invariably featured in the most high-brow of fashion magazines, which tend to be run by wraiths cloaked in Prada. (Presumably a sizable percentage of women must also secretly yearn to view these ultra-slim models, otherwise the magazines would go out of business, as did Mode, the one magazine devoted to plus-sized models.)

In the Top Model competition, Jaslene has had as many first-place finishes as her next closest competitor, Natasha, who is by far the most curvy of the finalists, and the one who would easily be the choice if any red-blooded male picked the winner.

Hell, if a guy were picking the winner, he would also go for a Jordin Sparks, a plus-sized model and the star of this year's American Idol, over any of the Jaslenes of the world, and I'm not saying that to be nice or politically correct, but to hammer home the point that men prefer women to be curvier than the weirdly thin, fashion-magazine ideal.

But, of course, red-blooded males don't pick the winners in the fashion industry. It's run by high-society ladies who think a stick of cheddar cheese is a sinful dose of junk food.

So why is it that bone-thin models are so favoured in the fashion industry? And, in a more general sense, are the fashion editors engaged in a conspiracy to make chubby folks feel bad, or are they merely reflecting a deeper truth about what is now attractive?

It's often been said that as we all get fatter, fashion models get thinner.

One convincing theory for the trend is that in the past, during the endless centuries of scarcity and famine, biological health -- the ability to produce healthy, thriving children -- was equated with being heavy. It was consequently seen as sexy to be portly. That is why poets and artists of past eras were so enthusiastic about women who would now be seen as in need of a diet.

Today, however, there's no shortage of food in the developed world. We live in the age of quick and easy calories. Anyone can be fat. Only the disciplined, the health-conscious and, possibly, the genetically lucky, are thin. So, today, like it or not, biological health is equated with slenderness. Thin is in.

The modern notion that fat equals poor biological health has been reinforced by science, an endless array of studies linking overweight and fat to numerous and serious health problems. If anything is putting the brakes on the feel-good Tyra-led, plus-sized model crusade, it is this health argument, which is too convincing to be denied.

It's worth noting that Tyra really started pushing her plus-sized ideas this winter when she was blasted for being too heavy herself. Since then, however, she's taken steps to change, as is reflected in her appearance in Shape, a bible of the fitness-obsessed.

In her Shape interview, Tyra stresses that she wants everyone to eat healthy foods, and admits she recently hired a part-time chef so she could eat better. "I realized I needed to take better care of myself," she said, adding that whole months went by when she didn't exercise. She has recently turned that around as well, she said, and is working out hard.

So Banks has rediscovered what we all know all too well and struggle with endlessly in our own lives -- that eating healthier and exercising more is the only real answer to the inconvenient truth that fat isn't beautiful. It's unhealthy.

© The Calgary Herald 2007