The world will be my oyster

I am constantly in a battle with myself these days. It is the confident part versus the insecure part and at the moment insecure is kicking some serious ass. I don't know why, in my later twenties, I feel more lost than ever before. I am continually questioning my choices and abilities and envy those who seem to go ahead and 'jump in' knowing they will succeed. I have no idea where my self-doubting ways have come from but I need to stop, re-evaluate what I really think about me and start thinking in a more positive way. Geez I sound so lame. But it really has come to a bit of a breaking point...either I start thinking positively or I might just end up somewhere I don't want to be.

oh ladieeeeeees

I was doing a bit of surfing as I was trying to find out the name of the women's shelter in Herat as I was hoping to make a donation. I came across this cool site. It has interesting articles and information for and about women. They had some facts I did not know about...for instance,

"Researchers have found that only 2.7 percent of sampled news stories focused on women on weekdays and 3 percent focused on women on Sunday."

We make up a lot more of the population than that. Go check it out and be informed.

metaphors, meh and secrets

so things have been trucking along but there have been a few potholes. fortunately i am working on the paving part...sigh i really could talk in metaphors all day but then i suppose at the end of the day i would forget what i was talking about. anyhow back to straight forward, which i am, apparently to a fault at times. perhaps i am too honest but really i don't believe in lying but i suppose it comes off not so nice at times. i digress, back to the metaphor speak so things have been sort of meh for me umm...professionally (ironic isn't it? i want to be more direct but i do see the danger of blogs and being too honest so i will have to work around the issue a bit). so i have decided that the only one who can make it change is me. so i feel more positive already and am doing a mental tap dance on the guilt i have surrounding this, wait maybe it is more flamenco style (i like the dresses much more).
i watched "the secret" about 2 months ago and although cheesy i think there really is some truth to what and how you think affects the world around you (ex: positive thinking bring positive opportunities). sometimes i am bad at this whole positive thinking because i feel that this whole idea is a bit hippy dippy but then when i see someone,who is happy and excuding positive vibes, loving life i think there must be something to it. and since i have been thinking that traveling the world, living on beaches and growing my hair down my back beats sitting in an office all day, i think i may just have a hidden flower child on the inside. but a clean flower child - i will never not shower or wear patchouli (aka soil smell) perfume in case you were worried.