That's right

Perhaps an explanation is in order for yesterday's lame post. First off believe me, I do not think I have it bad in the slightest....I just usually feel like I never have enough time to do all the things I'd like to, AND I am notorious for taking on too much stuff (just like my Dad---genetics can do weird things). So, I generally feel like I am always trying to catch up. It is a pretty crappy way to feel and an even worse way to live. And on top of that I am always worrying that I am screwing up all the time...like I won't get the job, then I do, then I am no good, then I am going to get fired....before any of this ever happens I have made myself think it will and we all know the power of thought.

So I have decided (or shall we say I am working on it) to let go of things...to stop worrying what other people think and to just decide that it will work out. Why? Because I say so MUAH HA HA! Ok I know that my "caring what others think" issue or my worrying isn't going to go away that easily but I am sure that I can correct this little niggling voice in my head bit by bit. And perhaps I will adopt the "if you don't like it then leave" attitude...yup, you heard me right BEEEOTCH!

The world will be my oyster

I am constantly in a battle with myself these days. It is the confident part versus the insecure part and at the moment insecure is kicking some serious ass. I don't know why, in my later twenties, I feel more lost than ever before. I am continually questioning my choices and abilities and envy those who seem to go ahead and 'jump in' knowing they will succeed. I have no idea where my self-doubting ways have come from but I need to stop, re-evaluate what I really think about me and start thinking in a more positive way. Geez I sound so lame. But it really has come to a bit of a breaking point...either I start thinking positively or I might just end up somewhere I don't want to be.

is it just me?

sometimes i wonder if i am ever going to get it right...even a little bit. i feel like i am not on the right path yet and i feel as though i am floating backwards while everyone puts all they have into paddling forward. this may just be a bad day but it sure seems like i am nowhere near where i hope or want to be, and i know that everyone says "do something about it" but i suppose if i knew what to do i would. i feel like i need some time to reflect and relax. to sort through the blur of time known as my early twenties when my life's direction shifted to neutral and now i am feeling stuck, unsure and so damn tired of worrying that i am not doing anything worthwhile. am i a living shell with a human exterior? or is this an extended quarter-life crisis? or is this all there is...i don't think it is. i know there is more and i so badly need to find some sort of calm fulfillment. perhaps saying it is a step to realising it....i sure hope so.

1:58 PM I just found this:

Think continually about the things you really want,
and refuse to think about the things you don't want.
- Brian Tracy

Point taken.