whup some mental block ass

i have kicked my mental block's fat ass. yep that is right after looking at my sewing machine for 2 years i have finally started it up and am well on my way to making....pajama pants. ok ok not so glamourous but it is a move in the right direction. see i LOVE fashion, i do and i am ok with how shallow that is. i have always thought that designing clothes would be awesome but was too scared to try. but i have now and i really really REALLY like it. makes me wonder why i was so scared to do it before. i guess when what you really want is right in front of you it is easy to miss.

thank goodness

i am thankful for:

• my ugg boots (yeah yeah i know they are ugly but it is COLD and we have hardwood floors)
• good health
• my family
• old songs that make you smile
• t's hugs
• time off of work

genki des

finished up work on friday and am happily hanging out in the house. actually i am trying to clean it up as it is a mess and we have a guest coming to stay! it is a friend of ours from Japan. he was the second friend of T's that i met. he super cool and let me stay with him in Tokyo even though he did not know me and he could only go on T's word. i think i won him over with my burping ability....c'mon guys love that. (i became a burping champ in school as all my close friends were guys and well...i had to be able to keep up) so i am busy being domestic and relaxing. i have some time off so i am hoping to have a clean house, use my sewing machine and read the latest Harry Potter.

facebook conspiracy

although i will admit i am addicted to facebook i cant help but wonder about it...maybe ponder is a better word. this massive social network allows you to find friends that you have not heard from since elementary school, pretty cool. but are we supposed to be back in contact with these people? i wonder if they leave your life for a reason and, now, are suddenly around again what effects does this have. or what do you do about people who you sort of know but not really and they want to be your friend? what do you do? be their friend, ignore them or even reject them? and really when you have like 250 friends has this just turned into, basically, a high school popularity contest? and then there is the whole personal information thing. t, who is probably right on this, believes that they are tracking what you do, say, what you like and don't, and where you are. this is like handing marketing companies the information they so desperately want. and i think this can be seen in the new polls that are on the facebook home page when you sign in. "what kind of toothpaste do you like" was one poll i saw. all those applications like "what are you listening to?" to "where you have traveled to" reveal a lot of valuable information. that being said i am not closing down the ol' facebook account quite yet...it has been a great way to keep in touch with friends overseas find those people i wished i had kept in touch with, but i am wary of what i say on it and i have chosen not to add any of the outside applications as they are not under the same privacy policy as facebook claims to be. so i guess it is more about being aware that being scared, or you can relive this conversation i had with t:

t : just say you were being hunted down by the them

kels: why? what did you do

t: that is not relevant, just say "they" were looking for you

kels: they?

t: ok the government

kels; ok but why?

t: kels...that is not the point the point is that this facebook account would screw you because they would know everything about you....right, from where you are, to what you like, all your contact information, to all your
friends

kels: ok i guess so....but why would you be running from the government

t: (sighs and rolls his eyes) i have already said that is NOT the point

kels: ummm ok....so i am keeping my account

t: fine....hey can you look for some friends of mine

decision

bono or "the edge"?

piggyback rides, smacking spoons and sugar

last night was finally a quiet one. After work i went to my gym class, it is entitled “commando cardio” and no we don’t work out naked. Actually it is this boot camp style class that makes me cringe before i go but after it i feel awesome. We spent the whole class partnered up and running around doing wheelbarrows and piggybacking our partners while running. Let me just say that i am SO glad that my partner was a small, yet muscular, nice gal. I am sure my knees would have buckled had i been paired up with one the 250 pound guys in our class and asked to piggyback him across the room. (although i bet it would have been funny to watch) after receiving a compliment from the instructor about looking “toned not skinny” I was feeling pretty fit. Got home and watched our neighbour smack spoons against his body and dance around our living room while chanting some oddly accented English. I love this guy. T and i tried to figure out what to eat for dinner, both is getting grumpier by the second, we decided on take out Indian. Not bad butter chicken but i have had better. Then we watched “Amelie”, one of my favourite movies, and increased our chances of diabetes by eating 3 different FunDip flavours. Remember those from when you were a kid, the candy stick that you lick and then stick into pure sugar? Man i had not had one in years...so good. Well i thought it was, T wasn’t so sure about the burning sensation on his tongue.

excel is a pain but DAMN my eyebrows look good

right now all i can see is grid lines even when i close my eyes .

it is early, i have had maybe five hours of sleep and i am trying to decide whether i like excel or want to punch in the screen of our mac. as mentioned, T and i are working together and part of what i bring to the table is my ability to present and organize information (hello nerd). honestly 2 years ago i was terrified of excel, i think i even failed an excel ability test that i took at a temp agency. the girl looked and me and said “so ummm, how do you think you did?” like that is ever a good question to be asked. anyhow much has changed since then. i would say i am well on my way to becoming an excel wizard. but i have a love / hate relationship with it. i love it for its ability to neatly present things but i hate it when it randomly flips out and refuses to listen to my commands. when cells won’t paste into others for whatever reason it makes my blood boil. T who is a designer, has not had much experience with excel and was using it last night for a client document. i set up the spreadsheet and then decided that i needed a computer break and watched “so you think you can dance”. all the while i could hear T mumbling profanities...this is a man who uses programs like vectorworks, illustrator and indesign. seems crazy that of all programs to give him grief excel seemed to be the pain in his arse. i tried to help him out where i could but he is like me and we both do not like to told how to do something, so it was a lesson in knowing when to pick your battles. as of 11pm last night the spreadsheet looked great!

after happily shutting down excel i went to work on an article that i am planning to submit. T was nice enough to stay up to 12am with me editing and making suggestions. then he stumbled off the bed while i stayed up and worked on it until 1:30am. hard to say whether it is ok or not, T had a read this am and told me he thought it was good. whether that is true or not remains to be seen. i am getting ready to submit it and hope to hear some sort of response.

on a totally different note my eyebrows look great! got them done by my little Czech esthetician this morning. ladies..you know what i am saying. Dudes yeah i know this makes no sense to you but taming unruly brows gives us gals some serious satisfaction.

the lady life or biatch?

so my face has recovered from when i got beaned last week. and i am feeling less guilt about quitting my job. i guess i can whine about it or suck it up and face the future which lately has been difficult for me. but i keep thinking that it has got to get better soon, so with that in my back pocket i am looking at all the options and preparing myself to make better choices when it comes to my career. the past few years have been rough but i have learned a lot about myself as well as what i like to do...which is not necessarily the same as what i am good at. but i do know that i need to have a lot of contact with people, just sitting in the same area does not work for me. also i love to be creative and the past few jobs have not let me express myself this way, although they have taught me a great deal of other important skills. so i have decided that i can be pickier with jobs, i don't have to choose the first thing that comes along. i suppose i am lucky too as T is around and working, he says he just wants me to be happy. to make things easier the two of us have some work together so i will not be a penniless mooch lying on the couch, brushing leftover chips off my ever expanding waistline, while he slaves away. actually it is pretty nice i am doing some copy changes for a client. i used to be a serious creative writer in high school but a degree in kinesiology pretty much sucked that right out of my life. so i am very nervous to be writing again but at the same time very excited. i am keeping my ear to the ground on other creative opportunities that interest me so if anyone has any suggestions on what a creative, athletic, moody, goofy, travel crazed gal should be doing let me know. to "life" bring it on biAtch.....i am ready.

i hope so

Failure is only a temporary change in direction to
set you straight on the path to your next success.
- Denis Waitley

bad things x 3 = change of luck, right?

Ever have one of those days? I sure did yesterday, here is what happened:

• I quit my job after much deliberating (about 3 months worth)
• Told my boss right after a meeting where it was mentioned that we have so much work to do and not enough people (in my defense she pulled me aside as i had asked to speak to her when she had a minute)
• T met me for lunch in a foul mood and we proceeded to spend the lunch hour arguing
• Had to chat with the managing partner on why i was leaving
• Played rec volleyball when i did not really want to
• Got smacked very HARD in the face with a team mates elbow / shoulder / ??? not really sure since i got hit and did not actually see it
• My eye swelled up and i cried in front of about 12 strangers
• Woke up this morning with my eye being crusted shut and super swollen

Yep good times anyhow i am sure i am due for a change of luck now. i look like i got into a brawl last night, fortunately i am covering the swelling pretty well with makeup and my bangs, i flipped them to the other side. there are definitely days i when i wish i could see the future because if i knew what was going to happen yesterday i would have stayed in bed.