daily life drowning

i am feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment, my life seems to have taken on a form of all work and all play but no kels time. i feel stretched to the max and although i am usually more than happy to be busy, i feel like i am on the edge of a burnout. i know, it seems crazy but I really feel that trying to do it all… work, see friends, see family, see husband added to the constant pressure i am putting on myself to start discovering what i really want to do is making me pretty tired these days.
it might be a case of be careful what you wish for i guess, i made the decision last week to talk to my boss about possibly trying some other things at work which she seemed pretty receptive to, which is awesome, but it will be a busy and hectic year for me judging by this past week. this brings me to my alone time. i am a person who recharges by being alone. hanging out in sweats and watching movies that i love (amelie or the princess bride), knitting,, reading…anything really as long as i am in my own company. i love my friends and family tonnes but i really need my own space. lately it has been non-stop with weeks full of work and weekends full of family, friends and errands. i am craving some down time but it is nowhere to be seen…for example tonight i have a baby shower and tomorrow night a stagette.
i am not complaining but i sort of need a bit of time to reflect and continue to move to towards to goal of learning more about myself and how i want to live my life. my fear is to wake up 80 and wonder why i did not take risks or wonder what if….i want to get out there and experience all there is but i must admit that at times I get scared. it would be so easy to stay in one place and never leave but i know that if i did that i would cheating myself by settling for the easy route.
T called me a gypsy the other day maybe i am. my desire to move is instinctual like i need change to experience life fully…i blame this on the fact that for my first 4 or 5 birthdays i was not in the country (another way to blame my folks ha ha ha). maybe the travel addiction is built in…regardless i feel it bubbling inside. i am trying to keep it to a simmer but it is threatening to boil over. Maybe some “me” time will quiet it at least for now….