Crocs = me trying to not to stare in disgust

Since when did wearing heinous, heavy-duty PLASTIC footwear become fashionable? My eyes are bleeding aaaahhhhhh...the pain.

The world will be my oyster

I am constantly in a battle with myself these days. It is the confident part versus the insecure part and at the moment insecure is kicking some serious ass. I don't know why, in my later twenties, I feel more lost than ever before. I am continually questioning my choices and abilities and envy those who seem to go ahead and 'jump in' knowing they will succeed. I have no idea where my self-doubting ways have come from but I need to stop, re-evaluate what I really think about me and start thinking in a more positive way. Geez I sound so lame. But it really has come to a bit of a breaking point...either I start thinking positively or I might just end up somewhere I don't want to be.

i should get more delicious sleep

For the past few weeks I have been unable to sleep. Ok...I do get sleep but not restful and it takes me ages (like hours) to fall into sleep. The past few weeks I have been working on less than 5-6 hours of sleep a night...I know that seems like it should be enough but I am a gal who likes her 8 hours and it is starting to take its toll. I don't really know what it is but the minute my head hits the pillow I start thinking about all the work we have to do, all the writing I should be doing, whether we will ever own property.....Clearly I do not need to be keeping myself up worrying over these things but I cannot seem to just let it go. I envy T who rolls over, tells me not to worry about things because it doesn't help (which I get, thank you very much) and then in about 5 minutes is sawing down a whole forest of sleepy trees while I lie awake pondering all the things I should do. I have been told to take the word SHOULD out of my vocabulary, I am trying but this one is a real hard one to remove for some reason.

Last night I decided to say "screw it"...I did not think about work, I did not worry about writing, I did not worry about what I should be doing and miraculously I fell into delicious sleep. It was so needed I hope that I can tell everything else in my mind to take a hike tonight because this lady has a TON of delish sleep to catch up on.

Work and work breaks

Work has kicked in and it is taking up most of our waking hours. Don't get me wrong there are no complaints here...I am happy to get this job moving because that means we are closer to continuing on our adventure--with a bigger bank balance which is great.
I have been busy learning all the design programs and although I am no graphic designer I think I am adequate at using the programs and with T's help we are producing some good designs. It is nice to be learning as well as using creative skills that I thought 4 years of university buriedSo things are as they say, "Full on."

When we are not working I am working on learning to surf. I have my own 'tabla de surf' (surfboard in Spanish) and a wetsuit and an ability to make the most amazing wipe-outs. Truly...I am that talented....I am no longer wading in the whitewater but out with T in the bigger waves learning to stay on my board, paddle and attempt to properly catch waves. I caught one the other day and managed to stand up at the very end. Only once but it makes me want to keep going out even if it means I continue to get clobbered by waves. One day I going ride a wave even if I drink half of the ocean while trying!